What does a mother mean to a son?
In the womb – she is his universe, the reason for his existence and sustenance, without whom, he cannot survive.
As an infant – she is his world. From the ambrosia of her breasts he draws nourishment; in the cradle of her arms he finds security and with her tender, loving care, he grows healthy and strong.
As a toddler – she is his anchor as he makes forays into independence. He strays from her side to explore the world around then rushes back to her reassuring presence every now and then.
As a schoolboy – he shares a love-hate relationship with her. He hates her when she wakes him up early for school and hugs her when he returns. He hates her when she disciplines him and loves her when she rewards him.
As a teenager – she is someone he loves to hate. He is rude, rebellious, chafes at her restrictive presence and at times, is ashamed of her.
As a married man – he relegates her to the background, as his own family takes precedence. Unless she is of use in his household as a nursemaid/cook etc. she is redundant.
With the passage of time she is a source of irritation. He finds fault with everything she does or says. She is someone he can snap at, ridicule, demean, reduce to a quivering mass of misery by his obnoxious behavior though she be, an admired and respected individual in society.
As she grows older she is deserving of neglect, indifference and is often forgotten. A poignant little story highlights the situation. A man had filed a missing report for his dog. The police found him in the old people’s home playing with his mother.
God forbid if she is and invalid dependent on him. He grudges her the space she occupies in his house, the expenditure incurred on medical care, quarrels with his brothers to share the ‘burden’ (it has been rightly said that one mother can look after five sons but five sons cannot care for one mother) and wonders why she clings on to life with such tenacity when she ought to just curl up and die. Paradoxically, though she is not wanted, her material assets are very much in demand.
It is but an equation of demand and supply. The more he needs her the more he loves her. As his need decreases, so does his affection, till a time comes when he resents her very presence. That is the way of the world and though a mother can do naught else but love and bless her children, remember that the cycle will repeat itself.